Warning Signs of a Break Up

unhappy coupleYou don’t need a fortune teller to tell you when your relationship is getting stale.

If you’re reading this, it probably means that you may have started to see the signs and your intuition tells you that something is wrong.

There are lots of warning signs of a break up and if you can pick them up, you won’t have to say that you didn’t see it coming. It will also give you a chance to fix things before they get out of hand.

Here are some warning signs to look for:

Warning Sign #1 – Not Calling

Before, your partner used to call just to say they loved you. Now the calls are becoming less frequent and when you’re expecting the call it doesn’t come at all.

Not calling is a sign that your partner has lost interest in communicating with you and you’re on your way out.

Warning Sign #2 – They Criticize Everything

It seems now that you’re never able to do anything right and you cannot please your partner.

How come they’re being so brutally honest all of a sudden? Your feelings may not matter much anymore.

Warning Sign #3 –┬áConversations Become Less Personal

The conversations become less about me and you unless they’re complaining but more about general stuff.

You want to talk about the future, about being together, owning that house but they find ways to avoid talking about it or keep their responses very sparse.

Warning Sign #4 – Constantly Fighting

You’re constantly fighting and arguing especially about little things.

Your partner may well be doing this intentionally so they can have an excuse to get away. Constantly fighting may lead to, “I cant do this anymore” and “I think we should see other people” and the classic, “I need some space.”

Warning Sign #5 – Less Time Spent Together

You and your partner are spending less and less time together where you used to spend time with each other.

They suddenly cant make it for lunch or they’re doing something Saturday or have to work late. Whatever the reason, you don’t get to see them as often as before.

This may also be for some of the other warning signs outlined. You spend less time because you’re constantly fighting and so on.

Warning Sign #6 – They’re Always Busy

Spending time with you isn’t a priority probably because they don’t enjoy the time with you anymore or possibly because someone else is occupying their time.

You get a lot of excuses, apologies and maybe even promises that they will make it up to you.

Warning Sign #7 – Major Changes in Their Appearance

A 180┬░ change in style can mean that they’re spicing up themselves to someone else’s liking.

She dyed her hair and cut them short – thats not even her style. Well, out with the old an in with the new. Why not get a new boyfriend too?

He got a new tattoo and he knows how much you hate those. Who cares what you think anymore.

How To Deal With a Breakup Before It Happens

Just because you may see one of these signs doesn’t always mean that you’re looking at the front door but if you see a couple warning signs then you should definitely brace your self for what may be coming.

Breaking up is hard on everyone involved. If you’re interested in hanging on to your relationship, then the best solution is to prevent the breakup from happening in the first place.

Taking action to prevent a breakup can save you both the heartache and the long recovery and reconciliation process. More importantly, it can help to prevent a lot of the damaging words and actions that’s bound to come up before they even happen.

But how do you really stop something that seems almost inevitable?

Effective Communication

Back in the early 90’s a guy named John Gray, Ph.D. wrote a book called Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. You may have heard of it. The book spent an unprecedented 121 weeks on the bestseller lists because of the concept was so simple yet it seemed so foreign.

Men and women have the Mars and Venus issue when it comes to communication – they both communicate in different ways. What one person says (or intends to say) is interpreted by the other in a much different way than it was intended.

This miscommunication often causes the perception of problems or issues in the relationship that only exists in the minds of those two people.

That is why learning to communicate effectively is so important for the sake of your sanity and your relationship.

Discover Your Love Languages

Everyone has a love language that bests sums up the way they express love and the way they best FEEL loved.

These love languages include:

  1. Words of affirmation
  2. Physical Touch
  3. Quality Time
  4. Gifts of service
  5. Receiving Gifts

When you take the time to understand how you best feel and express love in comparison to how your partner best feels love and expresses love, you can save a lot of hurt feelings, cold shoulders, disagreements and dish flinging arguments throughout the course of the relationship.

Learn To Speak Your Partner’s Love Language

People don’t only have a bit of a hard time feeling loved by partners that speak different love languages. In some cases, they have difficulty accepting love in that particular language.

This can lead to feelings of alienation, confusion and inadequacy for partners and this is usually what starts to hurt your relationship.

Learning to accept the love your partner has to offer while also learning to show love in the manner that will make your partner feel loved and cherished are equally important components when it comes to love languages. They are just as important as being able to make your partner feel the love you have.

Love languages are great but they do take time to work with and to become effective tools for saving your relationship from a break up.

There are other options to consider if you need more immediate results.

7 thoughts on “Warning Signs of a Break Up

  1. I believe the earliest warning sign is that of focusing more on yourself than your partner. Selfishness is a monster!

    Dave

  2. But why my boyfriend want to do break ?He says its good for me,but don’t I know what can be good or bad for me?I love him so much,I really want to see him happy and is it the reason that he does not want to see me now?

    He say , its bothering me that you have slept with someone before me,he say he cares about my past and he want us to be together and he will be always there with me as a friend….

    A Friend…what if I have already called each other Hubby and Wify?What if I gave him everyday wake up call?What even if I was awake all the night(With 6 hrs time difference) and guided him for recipies,what if I cared for his leg which was broken 3ce,what even if I did not care he will not be able to Run with me,not be able to play outdoor games with me….What?????

    Still I want him to be happy and I will always do the things which he wants……..I love you dear..dear friend!

    1. Preeti G, you need to start by loving yourself more. The problem is that you seem to love your boyfriend more than you actually love yourself and so you’ve given up control of the relationship.

      When this happens he is in total control and can do and say whatever he feels regardless of what you think. Think about it?

      What you say is bothering him and that he cares about your past seems a little out of the way and I don’t think that could be the real reason for him wanting to break up. I think there is something else to it that he isn’t letting you know.

      The best thing for you to do is to withdraw from the relationship if only for a while to let him think about what he is doing. This will actually benefit you also although it might be hard but you must try if you want to get your boyfriend back.

      You say you want him to be happy but do you want that at the expense of your happiness? Please don’t say yes because that is the root of the problem – you should really be doing things in a relationship that makes YOU happy. Feelings are contagious. If you do things that make you happy then he will be happy also. Don’t give up the power in your relationship.

      1. Dear Jay,

        Firstly,Thank you so much replying.It’s really great to know people think about me even if they don’t know me,and those who loved me once are now gone when I needed them the most.

        Jay, me and my boyfriend met because of common friends.When I was going thru hard time and according to him he wanted me to be get over with this and care for me so he told this situation to the girl who is one of my best friends and one of his family friends.Instead of finding a real solution she did speak loudly , very authoritively and used bad words too.She was more reluctant and irritated because I had been lying to her about the relationship and she says-you lied us,and now you don’t talk about anything .Even if you love him he does not so let things happen the way he want.She stopped talking to me,and she does not count me as a friend too.It hurts!Anyways.

        Because of my boyfriend I always lied to her, I every wanted to tell her all abour our relationship, but my boyfriend said we need to hide it ‘I don’t want my mom and dad to know this from other people.We need to wait’,he said.

        Two months back,I booked flight to visit him although I was lacking money.Now the flight money can’t be returned and I’ll still be visiting States as my brother lives there.According to the plan my BF will be there too,instead of 13 days we’lll have 3 days chance to meet ,again he’ll be coming to see me at the airport when I’ll leave the country.I have no idea wheather I shall meet him or not or what I should really do?

        Since Sunday,I am not talking to him.I have switched off my cell,and trying to get some peace and giving time to myself.But I aM NOT FEELING HAPPY WITHOUT HIM.

        Jay will you please provide me your email ID or skype ID,I would really love to speak with you,if you like.I found you really good.

        Thnx,Preeti.

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