The perfect answer to diffusing a break up is not always an apology. In fact this is something that you should avoid doing when the break up is fresh.
Some guys have a tough time understanding why this doesn’t work or even getting their head around why this action makes the girl even more angrier than she was initially. An apology is almost always the wrong answer.
Here are a few reasons why you should forget about apologizing.
Apologies Come Across As Insincere
There’s a good chance that you’ve apologized in the past. Perhaps, you’ve apologized for the same things that are causing problems in the relationship. The very things that possibly lead to the break up.
Apologies are useless if they can’t be backed up with action. An apology by itself won’t bring sufficient results to make her happy.
It doesn’t mean that you have to change everything and become a whole new person but you’re going to have to make some adjustments to your nature in order to keep her happy and make her FEEL loved by you.
Apologizing is a Sign of Weakness
If you’re a fan of the hit tv show NCIS which airs on CBS, then you may have heard this saying more than a couple times throughout the 10 seasons it’s been on air.
On the show it’s one of Gibbs’ rules. Rule #6 – Never say you’re sorry.
Apologizing can be seen as a sign of being on the weaker end of an argument. In such a case, you never want to broach an argument from a weaker position.
Apologies Aren’t Specific Enough
It’s been mentioned before than men and women communicate quite differently. You say one thing and she interprets it in another way.
Apologizing for “what you did to make her leave” isn’t going to cut it. What she wants to hear is the specific reason why you’re apologizing. To you this may mean exactly what you apologized for. But this isn’t what she wants to hear.
Instead, she wants you to acknowledge the fact that you’ve hurt, neglected, ignored or cheated, or whatever it is that you’ve done. She wants to know that you understand that this is wrong.
The problem is that she doesn’t always tell you what you did. Which leads to the next reason why apologizing is a bad idea when your girlfriend leaves.
It’s Too Easy To Apologize For the Wrong Thing
The last thing you want to do is to apologize for something you think she found out about which may not be the case, while failing to apologize for the thing that really set her off. This can add a lot of fuel to the fire.
The bottom line, when it comes to apologies is that there are more ways to get it wrong than their are to get it right. If you do feel the need to apologize, it is best to do it in writing and by following these simple rules.
- Be specific
- Be brief
- Keep it simple
Putting your apology in writing prevents a fight and allows her the time to think things over. It provides a neutral setting where she can process the apology and what it may mean for your future together.
Apologies for the most part can have a negative impact on the future of your relationship. Instead of apologizing, look for the positive aspects of the relationship and try to capitalize on how good you were together rather than revisiting mistakes you made along the way.