Marriage requires work.
Too many couples fail to see this – at least in the early stages of the marriage. Every relationship requires work whether its a business relationship or a parenting relationship. Yet, there are so many people who are surprised by just how much work goes into making a marriage successful.
There are, of course, some couples who make it look very easy. These are the couples, more often than not, who have built their marriages on a solid foundation.
Consider the following tips if you’re interested in keeping your marriage on track, getting it back on track or if you’re trying to get it on track right from the beginning.
Discuss Your Past – Briefly
Your past is your past and that’s exactly where it should remain.
Unless you have some major secrets that could harm your relationship later on down the road then there isn’t much to be said about your past relationships, events and connections.
It doesn’t mean that you should try to hide things. What it means is that you shouldn’t try to discuss every intimate detail about every kiss you’ve had from the fourth grade on up.
Relationships are often made stronger because of a shared history but the relationships that last the longest are the ones that keep their eyes on the future and are not constantly staring back into the past.
The same can go for fights, arguments and disagreements. Forget about them and move on. If you can’t forgive and forget, then find a way to work it out so you’re not dwelling on the problem over and over again. If the problem is ongoing then you’ll both need to find a solution that works otherwise it’s going to continue being a problem for your marriage.
Make Plans for the Future – Keep them Flexible
Flexibility is one word that needs to be a cornerstone in every marriage.
It’s one thing to have a future mapped out together. You need to have plans for the future. However, sticking to those plans so rigidly that you jeopardize your future together should be avoided.
Embrace the Moment – Life is Short
Life offers no guarantees. It’s hard to know how many sunrises and sunsets you’ll get in your marriage. Sickness, accidents and even relationship turmoil can rob you of the future you hoped for.
Cherish the time you have together. When petty arguments arise, think long and hard, whether the argument is worth the trouble. Decide if it is worth the joy of being together, even for that moment.
Once you build a better foundation for your marriage based on these simple principles, you’ll see a very big difference in the way you approach problems and work to find solutions.
In the end, you will both be much happier in a marriage that requires less work than many other couples struggling for a future that isn’t working for them, bringing up old arguments, and failing to take advantage of the precious moments they have together today.